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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?